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I love computes and technology, I find the web fascinating and have lurked it for years.� However, I�have been leery to establish a web presence, but at the same time I�have wanted to have a public journal.� I am not a great writer and doubt I will have any insights to provide any reader, this journal, is for me.

This journal, this public expression, is a space for me to work through my thoughts, help me make sense of the world.� While I do this internally and in private writings, the constraints of public exposure will, I�hope, provide a structure, a framework for me to work in.

I discovered LJ through a woman I met for one night.� Someone I hope to meet again, but alas, I donapos;t think it will happen.� She is an enigmatic, inscrutable and intriguing�woman.���I want to see her again,�but, even though I have thirty-seven�years of life experience,�I have no skill in the social�arts and it is quite possible, she is out of my league; something I know she hears often and doesnrsquo;t like but its how I perceive the situation.

�I feel those constraints and borders closing in so I will leave it at that.

WDW

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OH THANK GOD MY LAB DATA WORKED. FUCK YES.

I love it when that happens. Just...yeah. I got a really pretty-looking graph, my values (for lattice parameters of a crystal, based on data from an x-ray diffraction scan) are only a little bit off whatapos;s expected and the deviations have reasons, I found a program online to give me a linear regression equation when OpenOffice was being a bitch about it...GOD. Itapos;s all so nice. (This is why I do science. My need for order in the universe is satisfied when I get good results.)

...Still need to do the cutting-out-and-gluing-things step. That comes later.

Lately have been sleeping...normally. Like, at a normal time. Like from 11PM to 7AM, waking up on my own. Itapos;s kind of fantastic. But that gets thrown out this weekend; Iapos;mma go take a nap now, set an alarm for midnight, and keep working (and do laundry). Itapos;ll be good.


Nerdboyapos;s mom has seen me once before in her life and still greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. And then remarked on how cute I was (I suppose Iapos;m presentable-looking today...probably because I didnapos;t have any clean pants so am wearing a skirt) to several members of Nerdboyapos;s extended family.

...:3

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I was�extremely stressed over the mc and mid-term thing... Apparently,�on�the day of�my COM mid-term, I took�mc.�When I went to see the�doctor, I was really ill, or rather�I had not�been�feeling well�for a couple of days already. I had big painful things on my tongue and upper lip and sore throat and had�been feeling terrible, but I really worked hard for my psy�and com paper�which happened to fall on the same�day. I have to admit�this was partly reason, but days of feeling trashy were the main�reason why I just wanted to take�mc�for the paper. I really should have just went for the paper. That was the first mistake. The second biggest mistake was lying about the illness. I told the doctor I had headache instead of having sores and sore throat because I the medicine was cheaper and I was really tight on cash lately. Now it seems completely ridiculous I took mc from an exam just because of a headache, but what is worse is I promised God so many times I wouldnapos;t lie again, just help me this time and I wouldnapos;t lie again, just help me again and I realy will try my best not to lie again. I know God really hates lying, and He was really not very happy. Even before engaging in the act, He had already prompted me strongly not to do it.... Now, I think I am going to need Godapos;s grace... As surely as God lives, as surely as He would deliver out of this situation as He had delivered Jabesh out of Ammonites hands. I trust in Him who is my God, and my refuge. I will be able to take my com mid-term.
�

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Always interesting. Never fails. I wonder if this explains anything, lol. Just remember, I donapos;t actually take this seriously, but itapos;s fun to think about. =P

Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report

Name: Steven
June 16 1988
5:53 AM Time Zone is CDT
Lake Charles, LA

Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Gemini
Extremely active by nature, you like to get around, meet people and do different things. Very restless, you just canapos;t seem to stay put. You need to be involved in several projects at once in order to keep your mind stimulated. You like to read books and to write letters and to talk -- constantly. Seemingly ageless, you will always appear to be much younger than you really are. Very adaptable and inquisitive, you are always open to new ideas and experiences. A "jack-of-all-trades", you are lively and versatile. Because of the high nervous tension that you always seem to have, athletic activity would be a good way for you to burn off energy. But be careful of a tendency to experience things only superficially -- try to dig in and absorb things at a deeper level.

Sun is in 25 Degrees Gemini.
You have a quick, bright and agile mind, but an extremely short attention span. You love the external, kaleidoscopic aspects of life, but you tend to avoid (and even fear) deep, close emotional involvements. As such, you seem to enjoy travel and sightseeing and generally being "on-the-go." You get quite listless when things around you become static and dull, but your excitement returns whenever you are stimulated by a new idea. Chatty, inquisitive and quite playful, you enjoy practical jokes and games in general. Your moods change quickly and often -- you are very restless and constantly in motion. You are known for your versatility and adaptability. Your vivaciousness enlivens any social gathering.

Moon is in 19 Degrees Cancer.
For the most part, you are very strong and secure emotionally. You intuitively know what to do to make others feel comfortable, loved, accepted and needed. You naturally enjoy feeding and taking care of others. Be careful that your mothering does not turn into smothering. At times, you tend to feel that those to whom you are attached can never do anything without your assistance and support. Extremely sensitive by nature, it hurts you deeply whenever anyone criticizes you. You have an almost desperate need to be loved and wanted and needed by everyone with whom you come into contact, and you go out of your way to be accommodating to them.

Mercury is in 20 Degrees Gemini.
Your mind is active, quick and agile. You are very restless and you get bored easily. Unless you receive constant mental stimulation, you become extremely nervous and begin to act in an unstable manner. You are probably a good student because of your natural inquisitiveness. You also love to travel. Your learning tends to be superficial, though, because you have a relatively short attention span. Try to develop the mental discipline to finish what you start. Also, you tend to talk on at times seemingly just to fill space -- make sure that your conversation has some substance to it or others will start avoiding you.

Venus is in 20 Degrees Gemini.
You are friendly, warm, open and tolerant toward others. You love variety in relationships, indeed you may even prefer to maintain more than one relationship at a time Very witty and humorous, you have the ability to amuse and please others. This makes you quite popular. You love to play the field and thus find it difficult to settle down and make any deep emotional commitments. Your innate charm and vivacity makes you welcome most everywhere you go.

Mars is in 15 Degrees Pisces.
Very sensitive and vulnerable, it is difficult for you to assert yourself. At times, you feel quite tired and you will require a lot of sleep in order to maintain your health and your strength. You are at your best when you act without your ego being important. You can be very unselfish and considerate of the needs of others. You get the most satisfaction by giving to others when you expect nothing in return. Beware of a tendency to want always to work behind the scenes or to become overly deceptive by doing things behind othersapos; backs.

Jupiter is in 22 Degrees Taurus.
Growth only occurs for you after you have found a stable lifestyle and a dependable, protective and secure environment. You are at your best when those around you provide you with a great deal of affection and support. When you feel insecure or threatened, you tend to become possessive and grasping and self- indulgent. You are an inveterate collector with an expensive preference for all the good things that life has to offer.

Saturn is in 29 Degrees Sagittarius.
Basically quite conservative, you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life. You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing.

Uranus is in 29 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.

Neptune is in 09 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.

Pluto is in 10 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

N. Node is in 17 Degrees Pisces.
Youapos;re attracted to others who need your assistance. You seem to go out of your way to form relationships with those who are weak, sick, injured, addicted or troubled in some way or other. At your best you can indeed provide the relief that others need. But at times you can be victimized by those who would prey on your good nature and take advantage of you. This can lead to all sorts of negative situations -- make sure that those you assist are truly worthy of your time, energy and commitment. A little enlightened self-protectiveness on your part can make your life work much, much smoother

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Life is a funny thing. A fickle thing.
A thing to be treasured, and a thing to fear (at times).
Something to learn from, and something to apos;take into your own handsapos; (as if our hands have some power endowed to them).

Both of my parents are engaged to their respective partners, and I am forced to ask myself if they are really happy. Will they ever truly be happy again. Or will a shadow, birthed from difficult times, forever haunt new beginnings and hope?
Who knows.

Iapos;m forced to ask myself if I am unhappy.
"Am I unhappy?" I say.
I think no. No, I am not unhappy. But since when have my thoughts shown true? (factual tirades aside). I feel as though often I cannot trust my own judgment, I am so infected with the worries of the world.

Cryptic thoughts aside.
I am doing well in school.
My relationship is going very well.

But sometimes I sit quietly
and I feel the world move through me,
with a great symphony of sound -


...and it leaves me quite still and empty.
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I know the tour just started last night, but I was wondering if any of you lovely ladies and gents got a copy of the setlist or recorded it somehow and can relay it to me? I am just curious to see what was played, as my show is coming up Sunday

Speaking of Sunday, letapos;s get a role call going State Theatre in St. Petersburg, anyone?

(if this is inappropriate, please delete, I am so sorry for being ignorant)

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Currently listening to: Hope- Who am i to say
so today basically sucked. Im so tired and i wanted to take a nap but
i had to much homework, im still not even done with any.
i spend to much of my time dazing off and as i get back
to this place im in i forget what i am doing
i have a test tommorow, and i havent studied and i dont know anything at all
my legs hurt and i have a tummy ache. Im listening to music, its soothing me.
im going to try to finish all of my homework before the night gets darker.
im going to try to go to bed early.
these arenapos;t goals. I keep hearing "what are your goals"?
i should answer this now, I live in the momment, not in the past or future.
I have no goals, whatever happens happens.

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I am waiting on two items ... The ST-E2 flash controller and Wein optical trigger.

If those two items work out as expected, I will want these items pretty quick:
- #3373 Bogen-manfrotto lightstands ($40 each)
- BC-900 battery charger (maybe two) ($40 each)
- Canon 580EX II flash ($410)
- batteries ($20)

The lightstands are extra small, but expand up to 6 feet tall. The battery charger will make the most of my NiMH batteries. The flash will give me two off-camera flashes with full E-TTL capability. All told, I am looking at about $600 for a pro lighting setup that is super portable.

With SH, maybe $700. Very affordable.
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Over this last weekend, I picked up the new platinum edition of Disneyapos;s Sleeping Beauty.� Its one of my favorite films by Disney, so I couldnapos;t resist buying it, especially since Iapos;m not sure I�even own it in VHS.� In any case, I had forgotten (since itapos;s been quite some time since Iapos;ve seen it) that Auroraapos;s name while in hiding was Briar Rose.� However, her three fairy godmothers all just called her Rose.

...

Considering how my brain tends to equate "Rose" with Doctor Who now, all that running around and calling for "Rose"�all over had me wishing I�could write Doctor Who fanfic since I�could see a DW fic with a Sleeping Beauty theme, perhaps post-Doomsday, being done.� I�know I read one recently that had a fairy tale theme to it (canapos;t recall the name at the moment), so I�know itapos;s workable.� Most writers with this idea run with the (obvious)�wolf theme.

Upon further consideration and pondering, I could also see this turned on its head.� In the movie, Prince Philip meets baby Aurora shortly after sheapos;s born only once and therefore doesnapos;t know who she is when he meets her at sixteen in the woods -- she doesnapos;t even know who she is� I could fathom something (more probably AU)�about Rose meeting the Doctor when heapos;s Nine once and then coming across him later when heapos;s Ten -- and neither knowing that he was the Doctor.� And her having to save him (or them having to save each other)�from some big bad.� Shades of Human Nature/Family of Blood perhaps?� Hmm...� Too bad I donapos;t�know any DW�fic writers I�could toss this at....

�
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